Currently Listening Head for the Door By The Exies see related

For the life of me i cannot remember the last time i prayed or even went to church! I have denied God and his teachings for the longest time. Growing up i was saved about 6 or 7and i have constantly struggled since that time. These past couple of years in High School have really been one big test that i have sadly FAILED! I have been emotionally and spiritually beaten beyond my own comprehension. I have done and said things i never thought i would do! I'm not even the same kid anymore! Yes, i have become a typical teenager.. something i never thought i would say!

Last night i had some down time. I picked up my bible and started reading Psalms. Wow! What a wake up call. After reading only a few pages i felt so convicted! I was just about in tears. I look at how i have acted and things i have said that should have never left my mouth in the first place. Yes, i have sinned beyond what words can describe. I am indeed imperfect. Something i have struggled with since i could remember.

So anyways... i read a little bit and i prayed. I have decided to make some dramatic changes in my life. I know i have mentioned it for quite some time on here, but always put it off for what i thought were more important things... at the time at least.  Now it's time to pay up and actually do something. Talk is cheap in my book

For those i have pissed off, offended, been a jerk to, i am sorry. I have had a lot of things going on and i honestly have no excuse for it. I did what i did and for that i am sorry! Indeed it is in the past and that is where it shall lie. I will no longer seek the approval of others, when i have the only approval needed. I am happy with myself, my family loves me, and ultimately God loves me no matter what!

My true friends have stuck with me through all the bad times and also through the good. I am truly grateful to those who have been with me and constantly put up with my crap. As for the ones who haven't.... hey i forgive you. It's no big deal. We all grow and change... no one can expect for things to always be the same. If it did, somewhere down the line things would get old and we would grow a hate for those things that never changed!

By the time school starts, you will see a whole new me! I guarantee that. This wont be easy, but for something that is long over due.. it is a must! Thanks for your time, Merry Christmas, and Ultimately God Bless!

Currently Listening Sixteen Stone By Bush see related

Working once again. I know, i know, it seems like that is all i really get done anymore. But hey, i have to make those truck payments. So working is not totally in vain. The holidays are upon us once again and i am already sick of all the people! lol I mean, it is a constant bombardment of people wanting the biggest, best, and most expensive gifts for their family members. We all know how i feel on the issue!

So yesterday i worked. I got home around 4 and headed over to Brian's around 5. We hung out for a few and i left. I went to taco bell and ate, ran by DQ, and then headed over to church. I watched the chior rehearse for their Christmas special. Soon after that was over i went back over to Brian's and we watched the Butterfly effect. An amazing movie might i add! One of my personal favorites!! Got home around 1:45, surfed the web for a few and went to bed.

School is tomorrow! Then after Tuesday we are on break for a little while. Damn... how i am going to love being out of school! My days as a senior are numbered. I am very glad too. I am sick of people's bullshit at school. Looking forward to working and not having to worry about the pettyness of high school... yanno? Life is a great thing until you constantly waste it on pointless BS. lol but no matter what life only gets better. It is how you look at it that makes it bad.

I am done posting for now. HoHoHo Mofos